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I WANT TO BREAK FREE
Kathlyn Q. Barrozo
Class of 1991, University of Santo Tomas
B.S. Medical Technology
According to yearly statistical figures, roughly half of the couples who get married actually end up in divorce.
However, according to more recent studies, this system is inherently flawed. Cited as evidence is the fact that
those who get divorced at a particular year do not really belong to that group which decided to get hitched on
that same year. Simply put, the divorced group is not exactly a subset of the married group for the same year.
Going through these findings, I found my earliest assumptions of marriages and divorces taking a slight detour. I
concluded that there was hope, after all, for marriages to continue being the fundamental factor for successful
families.
Surprising as it may seem, such findings point to the fact that the world has probably taken a fresher
perspective about marriage and divorce. Maybe, we have been exposed to too many showbiz marriages that
start up strong and eventually fizzle out when the challenges come forth. Whatever happened to “till death do
us part”? Well, it probably got up and flew out the window.
That’s exactly what happens when couples break apart—promises are broken, vows exchanged are flung in
each other’s faces, and worse, children are caught in the crossfire. It is always the children who suffer greatly in
divorces. Although there have been documented instances where the children of divorced couples manage to
grow up and face the world even more normally than those in successful marriages, those are considered few
and far between.
The question looms large therefore: Should partners try to stay married for the sake of their children, even
when doing so entails great sacrifice? A follow-up question would be, “What happens when they meet
someone else?” And still another, “Won’t divorce be a better alternative down the road?”
It’s not easy to stay married, especially when everything seems to be so wrong and what seems right is getting
out quickly. When confronted with challenging circumstances, what are partners supposed to do?
The marriage vow is a sacred pledge which is not to be taken lightly. A great number of women--and in some
scattered instances, men--cry on their wedding day, particularly at that particular point of exchanging vows.
Thanks to the ingenuity of contemporary times, vows that are exchanged at weddings are no longer as
traditional as they used to be. However, the formula is still there: the promise to take the other and care for
them until death; the promise of fidelity; the promise of endless devotion. Add all these together and you have
a lasting bond that can not be torn asunder, ideally.
Unfortunately, the fact remains. Although yearly divorces do not actually belong to the same married group
within the same year, divorces still happen. And of course, their more creative counterparts- annulments and
legal separations.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1. Is divorce legal in your country? What are your opinions on divorce?
2. Do you think that getting divorced is the ideal solution? Why or why not?
3. What can a partner do when faced with the prospect of divorce?
4. What are the possible effects of divorce on the children?
5. What advice would you give to someone contemplating divorce?