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YES, THERE IS (SUPPOSED TO BE) LIFE IN MARRIAGE
Kathlyn Q. Barrozo
Class of 1991, University of Santo Tomas
B.S. Medical Technology
Watching and hearing about couples who live to their ripe old age in married bliss, we can only react with awe
and wonder. With the way marriages have ceased to become the bedrock of solid family ties that transcend all
manner of worldly considerations, lasting married relationships seem to be the exception rather than the rule.
We can only surmise that people in contemporary times have more nagging considerations, making marriage
stand at the bottom of their priorities. But blissful, wedded bliss does exist, and it does not merely exist in
glossy magazines and unwritten biographies. It exists for real.
Marriage brings together imperfect people, and this is a concept which this writer has time and again stressed.
However, it is upon those two imperfect people to look beyond each other’s imperfections and make ways to
weld them in unison. The outright refusal to accept one’s partner in spite of those differences constitutes direct
clashes that will never be resolved; hence irreconcilable differences erupt into broken relationships. It is only
through mature and unselfish acceptance that the partner is inherently flawed but easily loved can two
individuals ever make the marriage work.
We all have seen marriages/matches that were touted to be made in heaven, only to come apart in shambles
after a few (very few!) years down the road. Not wanting to be locked in loveless, worthless marriages such as
those, couples break up, citing various reasons for the erosion of love and loss of respect for one another. Most
commonly, the culprit is the presence of a third party; still others cite certain “psychological incapacities”,
whether on the part of the petitioner or the petitioned, it remains virtually unknown. For who can judge which
of the partners was of greater “incapacity”?
And then there are those who have most probably (most likely?) rushed into marriage, perhaps (more likely)
blinded by love at first sight. Quite oxymoronic, wouldn’t you say? The sudden palpitations, the breathlessness,
the constant urge to see one’s knight in shining armor or damsel in distress, such seemingly strong concepts
are easily concluded to be true love. Yet, are they really reliable yardsticks of an oftentimes fickle and playful,
and let me add, hurtful, emotion as love? Let me not be the judge of that, for the premise is not only tricky but
prone to debate. Censure awaits those who judge too hastily.
Marriages are meant to be made in heaven. Unfortunately, those who fail to find the truth within that concept
have not really found reasons why that is so. Is it failure on their part? Perhaps not, perhaps so, maybe not
exactly, maybe exactly so. The jury is out on that, I suppose.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1. What are your concepts on marriage?
2. Are there any couples you look up to for having successful marriages? Tell why you think those relationships
are successful.
3. In today’s modern world, do you honestly think marriage is necessary? Why or why not?
4. What are your opinions on living together without the benefit of marriage? Tell why you believe in those
opinions.
5. If you had a son/daughter who asked for your permission to get married, what advice would you give
him/her to make the marriage last?