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MARRY YOUR BESTFRIEND—OR YOUR COMPLETE OPPOSITE?
Kathlyn Q. Barrozo
Class of 1991, University of Santo Tomas
B.S. Medical Technology
In her novel Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen has this to say about marriage: Happiness in marriage is entirely a
matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar
beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike
afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the
person with whom you are to pass your life.
Paula Abdul sings this concept in her 1989 hit Opposites Attract, “…seems we never ever agree. You like movies
and I like TV. I take things serious and you take ‘em light. I go to bed early. And I party all night. Our friends are
sayin’ we ain’t gonna last
…
.She likes it neat, and he makes a mess. I take it easy. Baby I get obsessed. She’s got
the money, and he’s always broke….I take 2 steps forward. I take 2 steps back. We come together ‘coz opposites
attract. And you know it ain’t fiction, just a natural fact. We come together ‘coz opposites attract.”
But Prince William was given a word of advice by his brilliant mother, Princess Diana. The advice was
something he took to heart, “Marry your best friend.” It was just the very thing the prince did when he married
the elegant Kate Middleton, whom he had been friends with for more than a year at St. Andrews University in
Scotland. Then, he started dating her, and the rest is history’s ultimate fairytale love story. Accounts of their
beautiful love story say that they had a lot in common aside from just being students of the same school and
being flat mates. Kate lived one floor below Prince William at St. Salvator’s Hall, their university’s hall of
residence. (http://abcnews.go.com/International/Royal_Wedding/kate-middleton-prince-williams-romance-st-
andrews/story?id=13356247#.T2u5hsU7VNQ)
What we can probably surmise from the foregoing opposing views is inconclusive, at best.
Some people are just destined to be meant for each other despite the number of differences that they have.
Mills and Boon, England’s undisputed leader in romance and fiction books, has virtually had its earliest
romance books on this premise: heroine is young and naïve, not taken by the cares of this world; the hero is
debonair and dashing and highly powerful and successful. Both characters hate each other from the onset, but
end up loving each other so much. Those were the love stories of my younger days. The more contemporary
novels from Mills and Boon have less restricting roles for their protagonists. But the conflict between the
characters is still present; they have differences that need to be resolved.
But there is still wisdom in marrying someone you know very well, probably because it creates less friction and
clashes between personalities. The only problem with such made-in-heaven matches is that, when the
marriage doesn’t work, you both lose a spouse and a friend.
Questions for Discussion:
1. What are your opinions on marrying your best friend?
2. Can opposite personalities eventually find reason to get together and blend? Why or why not?
3. What are the advantages and disadvantages of marrying someone whom you know very well?
4. What are the advantages and disadvantages of marrying someone you have a great difference to?
5. What are the rules in choosing a marriage partner, in your opinion? Should there always be rules? Why or
why not?