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THE HISTORY WE MAKE TOGETHER-AND ALONE
Kathlyn Q. Barrozo
Class of 1991, University of Santo Tomas
B.S. Medical Technology
When people say “We share a history together,” it means something in the past connects us to someone else.
This is often something that former lovers use to justify familiarity with one another. It’s also effective to signify
old business partnerships that have probably gone sour. Sharing a history with someone else can be fun.
Imagine when what history you’ve shared was filled with exciting things you did together. But once the history
is marred with pain and suffering, the history can be a bitter reminder of foolishness that people just want to
forget. Who wants to relive a past that’s been shameful and filled with regret? Absolutely no one!
However, we need to consider the past as a valuable element towards crafting our present and future. The
lessons we learn and the nuggets of wisdom we pick up along the way help make us stronger individuals.
My own history has been colorful, to say the least. I got married at 19, became a mother at the same age. I had
my seventh and youngest child when I was 36. I was widowed at 37. I experienced both exceptional joy and
uncommon pain and suffering in between being a very young mother and a young widow. I have often
regretted many things but will gladly embrace everything all over again. I guess you can call me a masochist
that way, even berate me all you want. But my history defines who I am now, and I am mighty proud to have
shaped the history that my children will be talking about to their own family in the future.
We need not brood on the mistakes we made in the past. That only brings depression and ill mental health.
Staying too long in the past can make one lose their sanity. Unable to move forward, such people end up
chasing their tails needlessly and losing their grip on the present. That is a very scary concept that could
potentially ruin not only one’s life but the life of others. Do not attempt to go back to the past too often. It
would only make you mad. We can never change the past for it is all gone and finished. What we can do is live
for the present and prepare for the future.
Reflecting on history can be useful as long as it is not done much too often or indulged in for much too long.
Live for today for it is what you have, a present that comes from a life which, although not well-lived, will still
be part of the history that you will have in the future. Recognize the colors of history for what they were, paint
the present with the colors you already have, and infuse the future with a fresh tint of pure and gleaming
purity that speaks of fresh hope and even fresher perspective.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1.
Talk about a specific moment in your past that you wish you didn’t have. Be able to talk about the lessons
you learned from it.
2.
Why is history sometimes too bothersome to go back to?
3.
How can people avoid repeating the mistakes of the past? Use concrete examples, as needed.
4.
How do you deal with a painful history? Cite examples, if you must.
5.
What part of your history do you wish could be repeated now or in the future? Why so?