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MANAGING YOUR ANGER THE MAYO WAY
Kathlyn Q. Barrozo
Class of 1991, University of Santo Tomas
B.S. Medical Technology
Dealing with anger has always been a challenging undertaking, but as many have shown, it is quite doable.
Anger management is the only productive way by which we can curb the potential rage and violence that often
result from extreme anger. Keeping temper in control is best, but making anger the sole controlling factor of
oneself is the worst thing a person can do. The Mayo Clinic suggests great ways to control anger.
First, we need to isolate ourselves from that which has caused our loss of temper. This could involve simply
counting to ten, backwards being more advisable. It could also mean leaving that space where the anger was
incited, which can be done physically or inwardly (like imagining yourself flying off from the area). It helps to
decrease the degree of the emotion.
Once the emotion has subsided, we can articulate our anger through more constructive means. We should not
try to tear the other person apart in our mind just to satisfy our need to get back or for revenge. Simply
channel the energy towards finding a solution to whatever it is that’s caused our anger. Speaking calmly always
gets positive results, as opposed to an angry explosion of heated accusations and unjust criticisms in direct
retaliation. Being totally ballistic might be justified, but going totally out in anger only makes the situation
worse than it already is. Reflect on your words before they leave your tongue. Trying to find the best ways to
deal with any problem is always beneficial. It is also best to let the other person know how the situation has
affected you personally (“I” statements) and not to use accusatory tones. He will truly understand why it has
set you off to such a degree and what has given rise to your ire.
Diffusing anger by engaging in physical activity is also a great way. People go jogging or running or do any other
physical exercise to vent out anger. That’s a much more manageable and pleasant way to let the anger pass
than letting it stew in silence. Cleaning around the house is also a controllable way that allows anger to be
dissipated. You can control the level of your cleaning up to match your current mood. Mayo also suggests
finding something funny in the situation. Diffuse anger with humor but not more fuel to cause a conflagration
(i.e.: dripping with sarcasm).
It’s always advisable to be equipped with calming techniques like deep-breathing, meditation, or a relaxation
mantra. Yoga practitioners know the benefits of relaxation more than any other individual, so picking up on
what this hobby espouses will prove an infinitely beneficial method of calming oneself in the face of anger.
Remember not to let your anger in a person stew to a long-kept grudge or harbored ill-feeling. Acceptance and
forgiveness lead to longevity of relationships. Most important, though, is to know when you need professional
help in managing your anger. To recognize that there’s something inherently wrong in the way you handle your
anger is the first step to finding a solution.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1.
What are ways by which you manage your own anger?
2.
How do you diffuse anger in another person? Is doing so an easy task?
3.
If someone cuts you off in traffic, what course of action will you follow?
4.
Who is/are your role model/s in anger management? Why is/are this/these person/s your role
model/s?
5.
Is there an anger management counseling service or seminar offered in your locality? What does this
group offer? How can they help really angry people?