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PARENTAL DECISION-MAKING GUIDANCE
Kathlyn Q. Barrozo
Class of 1991, University of Santo Tomas
B.S. Medical Technology
Parents are the first figures to which children look up in the process of making decisions. The responsibilities
are great for parents, since they have to show temperance and sensibility at the same time as they must show
wisdom. It is therefore essential for us parents to try never to make hasty decisions, especially those that are in
direct path to our children’s welfare and well-being.
I, for one, have made countless decisions singlehandedly as a widow. The calls have been invariably tough and
easy, with a great many requiring much teeth-gnashing and hair pulling—which is why I have never grown my
hair long after my husband died. It makes for less maintenance and less pulling traction. Oh, but the white hairs
have been obstinate though, growing incessantly greater in number with every decision I make, haha.
With a significant number of the decisions I have made, I have always relied on my beloved mother and my late
father for guidance. They are, after all, the ones who keep our clan together despite the odds and in the best of
times. This speaks greatly of their unassailable wisdom and strength from which I derive my own. Thank God
for our parents.
My siblings have been nothing short of wonderful, too. During those innumerable times when I have needed
assurance and strong support, they have always been there. Helping me in countless ways and in situations
that go beyond the merely financial, my sisters and one and only brother have been present, never leaving me
behind. They too have their own decision-making moments, numerous also. But they keep an eye out for me,
knowing that comforting words of assurance always go a long way.
It is my children, however, who have kept me in the right path of making decisions. Knowing that the choices I
make in life ride a lot on my children’s well-being has kept me on an even keel, and therefore on both a
sensitive and a sensible level of decision-making. As a parent, the decisions I have been making have always
been for my beloved children. I think that’s what makes decision-making both easier and more difficult for
parents--the fact that you’re doing it not for your own good but for the good of your family. This imbues the
decision-making process with the qualities of irreversibility and finality, I believe.
As parents, we must always take into consideration the value and the impact of the decisions we make,
especially to the web of the family. Strike a balance between what is just and what is inherently good. If this is
quite difficult, you can always rely on the strength of the family to help your decision-making along. There’s
wisdom, safety and comfort in numbers, after all.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1. Talk about how you learned decision-making from your parents.
2. Why is it both easy and difficult to make decisions as a parent?
3. How should parents make decisions that concern the family?
4. What would you do if your parents’ decision was in complete opposition to what you wanted?
5. Have you always submitted yourself to parental authority? When are the times you feel you don’t need to do
this? When are the times you feel you should?