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EMOTIONAL HONESTY – A SENSE OF INNER SECURITY
Marian Baltazar
Class of 1980, University of the Philippines College of Manila
AB Political Science
Every individual would want to be accepted by their own family because it gives them that feeling of security,
making them emotional honest. People would want to be accepted by their own family and especial...ly by
their society. How well do we know our parents and vice-versa are very crucial to setting the norms of a person
(especially the children’s) so we could be accepted by our society. Definitely, we consider honesty to be a
prevailing social norm. As parents we should always create that emotionally safe environment where our
children and even the adults will be free to be emotionally honest and not create the opposite. The way we
were parented has got something to do with how we become emotionally honest later on with our life or with
what we are at present.
All of us have experienced the pain of rejection and sometimes we were even traumatized by our past
experiences on how we are accepted by our parents and the people around us. There is that tendency in us to
be very secretive, making us very discreet in what we say or do. The excruciating pain and hurt is
insurmountable that we try to create a shell to cover up the real feelings that we have. Almost always we also
put up a mask and try to hide our true feelings. Parents at some point and time try to put up an image of
something that we are not, thus creating walls. On the contrary, if a person is accepted and validated
emotionally, fear of rejection and being punished for your expression of thoughts and feelings are eliminated.
We can freely express ourselves and our parents get to know who we really are. This feeling of acceptance
makes us then cognizant of that strong sense of inner security. We become emotionally honest with others and
are freer to be ourselves.
The worst that can happen to a parent is to believe that they know their children well but apparently we have
alienated ourselves with our children due to the many years of discouraging emotional honesty. It is not
enough to have the notion of knowing your children from “head to toe” but what matters most is that we
understand them. Don’t let those important people in your life drift away emotionally, but we should instead
see their true identity. Allow your children to talk to you about anything under the sun and experience a
harmonious parent-child relationship. Let us not build walls but build bridges instead to have a good
communication and rapport to our children and to everyone. Encourage ourselves to be more free with
everybody to attract people who are also secure and who can be themselves with anybody. Live in
transparency with your children and loved ones, accepting them for what they are and not according to our
expectations. Give them that inner sense of security, for us to be emotionally honest with each other.
Questions for discussion:
1.How can one be emotionally honest and create that sense of inner security?
2.In all honesty, can you cite an experience or experiences when you did not feel that inner security?
3.What do you understand by emotional honesty?
4.Are you so emotional that you are afraid to be honest with people because of the fear of rejection? Justify
your answer.
5.Do you prefer to hide in a cocoon or just be emotionally honest about everything in life? Explain further.