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WHY PEOPLE FEAR COMMITMENT
Kathlyn Q. Barrozo
Class of 1991, University of Santo Tomas
B.S. Medical Technology
I used to work with a great woman in the office before. She was intelligent, had a wonderful attitude, enjoyed
life with her friends, and loved her job. What was really surprising about her though, was that, at 38, she had
neither a steady boyfriend nor a casual relationship. Now, this surprised me because I knew she had everything
any guy could want in a lady. So once, I went and asked her.
Her answer was plain and simple: she wasn’t looking to get hitched, and she was enjoying her single-
blessedness. I was amazed at how simple it all was to her. Even when I asked her if she didn’t fear getting old
alone, she seemed optimistic about the fact that she had many nephews and nieces who would help her when
she gets to that stage. She’s been helping a lot of them go through their schooling. I jokingly gave her a
rejoinder, “You’re just afraid of getting into a commitment!” She laughed my remark off, good for her.
I guess that’s just how it goes with a whole lot of other people who value their single-blessedness, or their
being single. They prefer to spend their lives with the greatest freedom, to do whatever it is they wish to do
unhampered. They are happy that way, mainly because they’ve got family and friends who make them feel
blessed enough being single.
Some married individuals may find it difficult to fathom why single people choose to stay so way past their
marrying age. But there have been stories of spinsters and bachelors who end up getting married later in their
lives, too. The simple reason for this is that they may have been able to find the person they were meant to be
with. Those are great love stories.
And then there are also those who remarry despite a failed relationship. That’s fine, as long as they’re happy
and they work hard to keep their second marriages. These people are not scared of getting committed a
second time because that’s what they find to be the essence of living--to have someone to share their lives
with, nurture till they grow old, and share their dreams with.
As for those who choose to remain unattached, let us leave them to their choice. They are entitled to it after all.
As my perpetually-single office colleague once told me, “It’s pointless to get married just because I am getting
old or I need someone to grow old with.” In other words, she hadn’t really found a good reason to get married,
or a wonderful man to get married to. She is, to this day, still happily single. She doesn’t find it odd, as I have,
that she is still so. I have come to understand her reasons, and have accepted them fully as she has.
Questions for Discussion:
1. In your opinion, what is the best age to commit to getting married? Why is that so?
2. Do you think you can stay single till you grow old? Why or why not?
3. Does commitment to a relationship sometimes scare you? How and why?
4. Have you ever had a serious relationship? Or are you in one right now?
5. Why do some marriages fail?